Book Review: Chaotic Good by Whitney Gardner

Chaotic Good by Whitney Gardner

This e-ARC was provided through NetGalley in return for a free and honest review!

What it's about:

     

     Cameron is an amazing budding cosplayer who dreams of getting into the CalTech costume department in order to one day design costumes for all of the nerdy things.  However, when she and her friends end up winning a cosplay contest based on a game that she doesn't play, a storm of angry internet trolls is activated.

When a nerdbro totally gate keeps her on her first visit to the ONLY comic store in the town she's just moved to, she decides to see how the other half lives (and shops for comics) and borrows some of her twin brother's clothing to become: Boy-Cameron!

When she accidentally on purpose makes friends with one of the other comic store employees and gets invited to play in a game of Dungeons and Dragons, things get a little more complicated than she had ever expected them to.  She then has a predicament: stay Boy-Cameron and continue the charade, or return to being her normal self and risk being abandoned by her brand-new friends?

What I thought:

       This made my nerdy, D&D obsessed, cosplay n00b heart so very happy.  This was probably my most anticipated read of the year because it aligns with just about *everything* I am currently obsessed with, and it *mostly* did not disappoint.  

Despite being a pretty nerdy individual myself, and being a girl, I've don't know that I've ever really had that lovely experience of male gatekeeping (I have strong opinions about ANYONE who gate keeps, but that's a tale for another time), so I couldn't relate directly to Cameron's experiences there.  However, I know it's a thing that happens, and it's something I'd totally word murder someone for doing to me.  

Cameron and the other characters were really solid and believable.  I loved Why and loved to hate Brody--his comments were just such a thing that I could see an angry troll saying, it was almost like the author hung out on 4chan before writing (for research purposes, of course). I loved that all of the characters had fully fleshed-out backstory--it made the story feel really full and made you get attached to them.  

The idea that a girl would have to dress as a boy in order to enjoy something as widely-spread as comic books or superheroes or video games both makes me sad and angry--something that was portrayed very well in this book and gave me the Strong Emotions.  I think Nerd-dom is a place for all, and should be open to new people.  We're members of the best club, and I am ALWAYS happy when I find someone who is even a little bit interested in something I also love!

My favorite part of this book, I'd have to say, were the bits that talked about D&D.  I may be a little biased, since I've just entered this community myself, but OH BOY did I find myself highlighting all the quotes about the discovery and confusion that is getting ready for/playing your first game of D&D. The little comics that went along with the game sessions in the book were hilarious, and made me wish I wasn't reading the book on the tiny screen of my phone so I could better see all of the details.  

I enjoyed this book immensely--don't get me wrong--but there were just a few things that knocked it down from that ever-coveted 5 stars.  Firstly, there was a bit of a lack of communication in many parts of the story. I feel like if the truth about the horrible things happening to Cameron online had been shared with the important people in her life earlier on, things could have been dealt with in a much less messy fashion.  Instead she just internalized everything and then froze up when people got mad at her.  I know, I know, if everyone communicated well there'd be none of the drama that created half of the story, but still, it bugged me a little, especially with her family.  Like...they're your family, they're not going to judge you for flack you're getting for posting your amazing creations. 

Another thing that bothered me was that the ending of the story felt a bit rushed.  I was left wanting more explanation, more reaction to the truth coming out, and what I got wasn't that. It felt as though everyone got SUPER ANGRY that she didn't tell them she was actually a girl, then got over it offscreen and suddenly everyone was happy again.  

Beyond that, this story was mostly about a nerdy girl who just wanted be be a nerd, and make beautiful outfits based on nerdy things, and NOT GET BOTHERED WHILE DOING SO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.  It was full of nerdy references and D&D and cosplay and captured both the horrors and the joys that can be experienced as a girl in the nerd community.  

Rating:  4 stars.

Quote Post: Chaotic Good by Whitney Gardner

This is a very spoiler-filled post featuring some of my favorite quotes from Chaotic Good, by Whitney Gardner!

"Dungeons and Dragons has always seemed like the geek game I don't actually have enough cred to play.  I tried to look up the rules online once, and it went way over my head.  I don't think there is any one true way to play, and that's intimidating." 

           

 "I read about mages and bards. About rangers, clerics, and fighters.  And the more I read, the more desperately I wanted to play.  To have a group of friends gathered around a table telling a story.  Creating and cracking inside jokes."

"'Jade! After the battle of the three orcs, you find a vest in a trunk.  It's the most beautiful piece of fabric you've ever seen in your life.  Intricate and delicate.  It weighs almost nothing but feels substantial when you pick it up.'  Lincoln starts to smile as Cooper listens to him from from his place in my arms. I feel his breathing slow.  We're both entranced. 'You put it on, and you can instantly feel its protection.  Its button fastens perfectly, like it was tailor-made for you.  It feels like another limb.  Like something you've been searching for your whole life has now made its way back to you and you dare not part with it.  It gives you plus four to your constitution, plus three charisma, and plus motherfucking eighteen against asshole exes.'"

The Year I Met Critical Role; or: How I Fell in Love with D&D and Why My TBR Hated Me In 2017.

So I haven't properly reviewed anything in a loooong time.  2017 was *not* a great reading year for me, and here's why.

Last February, I discovered something that absolutely decimated my 2017 TBR before it even got off the ground. It's a "little bitty" web series in which a bunch of nerdy-ass voice actors play Dungeons and Dragons...and I spent the rest of February through early October binging 115+ episodes averaging about 3 and a half hours in length...and loving every minute of it.

(Fair warning. This post will be completely full of CR and other nerdy gifs. I'm sorry not sorry in advance).

Since this group has been streaming their game for about 3 years now, I had a LOT to catch up on.  But this also means that I watched over 400 hours of a group of people I don't know playing D&D in less than a year, which not only cemented my eternal love for and undying loyalty to the fandom and community, but also made me want to play ALL OF THE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS.

I sometimes feel awkward with certain aspects of my geekery.  For the most part I let my nerd flag fly and often, but secretly I've held in my heart a desire for more, and always considered D&D to be one of those *super* geeky things that only the *REALLY* hard-core peeps go in for, but also one of those things that I always kind of wanted to learn how to play (MtG being another, and also LARP. I WANT TO FREAKING LARP, OK?!).  

So when I clicked on Episode 82 of Critical Role when it popped up on my YouTube subscription list one night when I had run out of videos on my "Watch Later" playlist, I didn't really know what to expect.  I think that the typical person's expectation of Dungeons and Dragons is the stereotypical Stranger Things-style scene: basement-inhabiting pre-pubescent boys who are so socially awkward that they choose to pretend they're in another world fighting monsters instead of going to the Snow Ball.

This wasn't like that at all. This was grown-ass ADULTS (in my age range and older) letting the world see what they had so far only been doing at home--imagining and acting out existence in another world, fighting monsters and becoming heroes.  I mean, they were (spoilers) FIGHTING A FREAKING DRAGON (end spoilers) for goodness' sake!  There were miniatures, and little stands to show depth (because some of the characters were FLYING),  and players who not only clearly loved their characters but were passionate about the story (and are some pretty amazing actors, to boot).  I realized about an hour and a half in that it had started 82 episodes ago, and I 100% needed to stop watching this episode RIGHT NOW and go right back to the beginning.

Now, to those who aren't into things like this, the idea of D&D (and rpgs in general) may seem a little strange or escapist, but for a reader like me who intakes approximately 85% fantasy literature (and let's be honest here, it's probably closer to 95%), this was like taking my favorite books one huge step further.

Have you ever read a book and wanted to be a character in the world or story? (I know for a fact if you're into Harry Potter, you TOTALLY want this. The Wizarding World? Your Hogwarts House, wand core, and Patronus? I mean, COME ON, RIGHT!?)  DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS CAN DO THAT FOR YOU, MAN.  I literally just straight-up ripped off the character Elora Danan from the 80's movie Willow, and created a character based on what I think she would have been like grown up (Human Warlock with a Fae Pact, just like in the movie, amiright?)

But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Critical Role looks a little like this:

When I tried to explain to my befuddled sister what I was watching, I described it like this: Critical Role is like a really amazing and detailed audiobook that comes with a different voice for every character and also real-time reactions of those involved in the story.  Basically, if you combined an audio book and a live-action movie, just with fewer visual sets and more going on in your imagination.  From the outside, it's watching people sitting at a table, occasionally using props and minis, but mostly just talking.  From the outside, it seems like it could be fairly boring if you just walked by someone else watching. But oh, man.  It really is so much better than that. It makes me feel ALL OF THE FEELS--everything ranging from stress and sadness (so much sadness) to hilarity and elation (so much hilarity--both in story and out).  

So for me, the natural progression here (which I reached about halfway through my year-long binge) was to try and find some way--ANY way, really--to play D&D myself.  When searching through some online venues led to nothing I felt super comfortable with as a new player, I enlisted my sister and some friends who seemed willing to play.  Since I had the most "experience" with the game, it sort of fell to me to step into the roll of DM (dungeon master, or dungeon mistress, if you want, I guess). We play Sunday evenings and after a few different random one-off adventures, I think we're ready to start an actual campaign (which I am STOKED about!).  

But seriously, after watching the amazing adventures of the Vox Machina crew, how could I not want to play? I mean, there's:

and

and

Pretty much all girl could ever want, basically.

As of January 8th, they've started a new campaign, with all new characters (which I adore so far), a new setting, and new intriguing storyline created by Matt Mercer, who is probably one of the world's most fantastic DMs.

In the meantime, while I was going on an adventure or two, my 2017 Goodreads goal--initially at a low-for-me 80 books, had to be pared down to 60, which I only *just* managed to squeeze in right before the ball dropped on New Year's Eve.

The good news is that since I'm now caught up to the livestreamed episodes, I can take my viewing time down to 1 episode a week, and catch up on all of the books I *haven't* been reading, and all the reviews I most definitely have NOT been writing.  

That being said, I am going to try to make it my goal to write at least one review a week.  This may not work out super well, as I tend to read at pretty erratic paces (for example: I had read 3 books by the 7th of January and then have been reading the book I started after that for WEEKS now), and so I may not have a book newly finished to review, but I will certainly try to stay consistent with posting.

*That* being said,